Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize