i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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