I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
