great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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