Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
