oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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