I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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