so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
