Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
