i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize