evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
