At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
