You just made me feel so damn special
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
