Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize