i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
