Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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