roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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