i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
