I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
whose ass print is on the piano?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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