Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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