Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
