I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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