brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
