Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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