this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize