omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Randomize
