I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
