my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
