According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Enjoy the penises
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
