Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
