Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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