Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
