Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
