Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
