Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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