i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
