He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
