I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
