Pants 0. Shit 1.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
