I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
