cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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