I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
