I can tuck mytits in my pants
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
