Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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