Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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