Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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