I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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