What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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