Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
