Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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