Three words: puerto rican gang bang
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
