hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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