How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
