Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
