We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
