If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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