apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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