so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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