therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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