You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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