it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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