I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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