So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
